You Are My Everything, My All

Through the thick and thin

In the rough, tumbling thicket

Mighty seas have brought their very best

But nothing could break this bond

Standing tall on the mighty rock

Jutting out boastfully against unruly waves

Piercing the fog even on the darkest night

Yet gentle and calm in your embrace

Enveloping my soul with such sweetness

I surrender my all to thee assuredly

You provide the shine that sparks my life

The smile that nestles my weary spirit

Igniting the indescribable feeling

Surely an awesome joy and happiness

Though this day is a reminder for us

It should not be special for today only

Everyday is significant, important
With the simple touch of your caress

You flavor my life with the utmost beauty

Catalyzing the strength of our perpetual bond

Advancing, progressing us forward forever

Oh I am blessed, so very blessed

That I laid those first links of love

Years ago at an event of great responsibility

A seed planted in great friendship and comedy

Those first heart tugs and strings
Kindling the flame ever so tenderly

Becoming burnished in a blaze of enchantment

You empower me into who I am today

Like the North Star on a cold, dark night

Evoking the best in all that I do always

Because it comes from your joyful spirit

Dear friend and my sweet, precious love

You are everything, my all.

--Dedicated to my wife on February 14, 2014

His eyes gaze out to the crowd.

Emotions ravage the landscape

Who could have known of this

It was predicted ages ago

Planned and rethought sincerely

Over and over again

The moment breaks loose

Chaos and its devious minions

Turn loose the shift in scenery

Effortlessly and with a thrust

The fire consumes the environs

In joyful cautious tones

Through the fire and definite fury

Silence seeps in through the cracks

The dark turns into bight lights

All pain clears the anxious room

The waiting period simply vanishes

Instantly back into its darkened corners

Like cracking a well-worn whip

A thunderous cry reverberates

Clapping vigor through the clouds

I could not believe mine own eyes

All glory be on High

Envisioned in numerous dreams

My world changes forever

Comfort soothes the heart and soul

Peace envelopes the crowded room

My calm demeanor returns

This day has been a courageous trial

Stormy seas now cease and desist

His eyes gaze out to the crowd.

Plus One

Plus One

With mathematical certainty

That is the logic between

The proof of You and Me

You have delighted my life

Through a neurochemical concoction

Of "madly truly deeply"

The passionate equation

Adding up the years

The good and the bad

A definite witch's brew

None other could be had

In my wildest dreams

Where logic holds no sway

Our summer ties held true

Regardless of the winter gray

The spring colors come full bloom

In this fantasmagorical world

No division could be computed

Nor can it be unfurled

But in an absolute fact

The summation of us

Now leads in a new direction

Of an additional plus

The setting may change

But our architechture is sound

I will always be yours

Firm on fertile ground

Where the water springs

And the love always flows

I'm blessed by your grace

Set sail I will never go

As long as you allow me 

To be your plus one

Evermore you are

My plus one.

-Dedicated to my wife on Valentine's Day, 2013

...And ignited a flow

On this very special day

Many, many years ago

You came to life

And ignited a flow

That moment christened

A beautiful child

Perfect in your own way

Uniquely styled

Honest to a fault

Honorably so

Outside the box thinking

A patented glow

I first came to know you

At a notable event

Who would've known

It was heaven-sent

For that person, you,

Became a good friend

Funny and graceful

Worthy to befriend

As I learned more

About who you are

My heart fluttered

Can this be an awesome star?

Irrevocably yes!

And even more 

The flow was a torrent

Blasting through the door

Not only was I

Your friend for sure

But I wanted even greater

More ever so more

Not just a girlfriend

But a life's partner

As in marriage

My life's partner

Though I knew 

It was quite a feat

20 months you gave me

To reach a defeat

I only had potential

But your heart I did seek

Patience on the ground

Even when times were bleak

We made it through

Regardless of the state

It was written in the stars

That was our love's fate

To go from a simple date

To husband and wife

I'm so indebtedly grateful

For your wondrous life

You have graced me

With your remarkable presence

Uplifting my lonely life

Better than any gift or present

It was half empty

You filled it full

Keeping me grounded

Yet never dull

I couldn't have asked

For any better

In a marvelous wife

None other is better

It was all because

Many, many years ago

You came to life
And ignited a flow.

Dedicated to my dear wife on her birthday. I am definitely the luckiest man!

Communication Part 2

I am glad that you, my readers, enjoyed the Communication post so much, I would like to share more of our recent conversations. This time however, it is in poetic style. I hope you like it!

My Call:

It is Thursday dear
You have nothing to fear


The tide of time
Slides down sublime


Over the hump
Above the stump


We find ourselves veer
Toward the weekend steer


To play outside
Within us confide


I love you more
More in store


Around the corner
We look to garner


Fun
And more fun!


Her Reply:


Today it’s Thursday
Longing we convey

For Friday today
Delusions at play.


My Reply:

These rhymes we play
Are a diversion
For better times
Our immersion

Looking forward to
Tomorrow indeed
This imagination
We vigorously feed

We yearn for Friday
At tomorrow’s end
For the closing time
Our fun weekend!


Her Reply:

Delusion, illusion
Self neuronal medication
Caution on mental preservatives
Overuse could be corrosive

Time allotment freedom
Reward in a lump sum
We sold our eighty hour time
For a weekend and mere dimes

Spark

In the dark
Looking dreadfully stark
Missing the mark
In need of a spark

Hark, the herald sings
Please fix my dings
And heal the stings
Carry me on thy wings

Bring forth much love
Yearning for the dove
For the one I dream of
My dearly belove

Shove away the weak
Destroy the bleak
Foster some technique
To break the barren streak

Speak to me
Full of glee
Clean the debris
Fly so high so free

One

Even to the best of my ability
I can be quite so silly

In my thoughts and words
Dreaming of the birds

I cannot always correctly assume
What your mind expects me to presume

I am only human
With a decent acumen

I try and try so hard
Sometimes its not in the cards

To know what is
That is your "biz"

I am but a kind soul
Stuck in a rut of a hole

Connections you expect
My inquires you reject

Anguish stirs a dark pot
In the headlights I am caught

Knowing not the way
That you assume me to say

Lend me a helping hand
Fallen I am in quick-sand

Tell me your needs
So I can perform wondrous deeds

Keep it to yourself
In the burdening stealth

Assume the worse
An undeniable undesirable curse

Because I was left in the dark
Stuck in neutral in park

Communication is key
For us to be

So let it out
Open the floodgates spout

The bad, the good and ugly
For future's sake of snugly

Love is a fragile entity
A work in progress perpetually

Built on strong foundation
For a better formation

Times may be rough
But we shall be tough

Chores it may be at times
It shall end in melodic chimes

Nothing comes easy
In an unfair world of sleezy

Especially in the art of love
Its the hardest of all the above

Pain and frustration
Makes love a divine sensation

So two we must
Start to earn our trust

Break the inactive condition
For a better connection

Dust off the dirt
Time to push and exert

Plan and expand
Create a new brand

Alas communication is key
For us to grow to be

One.

Potential

What is potential?
It is a perception
A possibility
Of what might be
It could happen
Perceived to exist
A blessing in disguise
Chances are good

It is also a maybe
Not a denial
A flat-out rejection
Door is closed
No opportunity
A strike-out
No way in
A chance not given

What is potential?
It is you my dear
Giving me a chance
To vie for us
A field to prove
My actions of love
A goal to reach
Chance of Us


On that winter’s night
In the cold air
Over the phone
Shockingly excitable
Not the answer
I had thought
But good enough
That probable chance

I have potential
To reach for us
Prove myself worthy
Present my heart sincerely
Out for all to see
Through acts of love
My kindness I show
For our chance of love

What is potential?
It is us knowing not
Giving a chance
To walk in darkness
Together as one
Seek the unknown
Forge a new path
Our chance together


Though precarious
The journey may lie
We can make it
In this walk together
You believed in me
I held your hand
Not a denial
Nor chance rejected

What is potential?
Rolling the dice
Giving it a try
Diving headfirst
Reaching for the stars
Climbing to the pinnacle
Potential is love
Between You and Me.

Dedicated to my love
On
Valentine's Day 2009

A Love Letter on Valentine’s Day 2009

To my dearest love,

I hope when you get this letter that you are in great hopes and spirits. You deserve such bright environs because you give so much of that wonderful attitude to others, especially me. I am honored and very moved by the fact that you are still with me even to this day.

Though you were suspicious of my intentions earlier on when I first met you in 2002, I was able to convey my inner true self-being. You caught my eye and I became smitten with love ever since Sweet Home Alabama, maybe even earlier. For all intents and purposes, I was truly struck by your beauty at the Block at Orange. It is my definite belief that beneath that Californian appearance can be found a wholly Southern personality (both Vietnamese and Carolinian) that radiates through. You are welcoming to others and always strive to help those in need, even putting others intentions before yours. I too often am at the receiving end of this action and I am grateful for it. On February 14th, 2003 I was finally able to fully convince you of my desire to be with you and in return you agreed simply my entertaining my wishes of a kiss. My love, you can say you sealed it with a kiss.

As the years went by our love grew as well as it waned. We went through some fine times as well as some tough ones. However for some odd reason, we were able to survive it all. Suffice to say, the love that is rooted in our hearts truly helped us get through those regrettable times. We have grown and I hope we will continue to grow together. As long as we have the heart to love and the desire to please, we can do anything. I have learned a many great things from our relationship. I want to be more endearing to you and learn to communicate more solidly with you. You make my heart flutter and I want to convey this message to you. I am truly honored you are at my side. Thus, with this Valentine’s Day of 2009, I would like to commemorate our love with some gifts. I hope you will entertain these as well as you did when you agreed to be my love. You make me soar and for it, I hope we can soar together. I love you so much.

Yours truly,

Quackster

I Thought I Had Lost You...

I thought I had lost you

My love and dear

Forever it seemed

That was my fear

It ended so brutally

On bitter cold note

Pangs of pain

As I sadly wrote

We tried so hard

Knowing not the way

Fighting the torrent

Against the decay

Alas it was not

Love was shattered

Pieces and shards

Nothing mattered

The gloom of the day

Set like a dark cloud

Misery and despair

Hiding in a sad shroud

I thought I had lost you

Forever never more

To the deep abyss

Destitute to the core

Then suddenly sparked

Without plausible reason

A beam of light struck

For a change of season

The sands of time

Changed their course

A miracle redirection

For a full recourse

What I had thought

A love lost surely

Was reclaimed

Renewed fiercely

Uncovered beneath

Our hearts had pleaded

Desire and hope

Their message heeded

Our love we thought

Seemingly lost forever

Grows stronger within

Yearns for us together

It took some time

Yes indeed

But truly never lost

I must concede

It was the hope

From you and I

Our hearts longed

For us to fly

And so I fly

Into your arms

Hope evergreen

Love in ever charms

I thought I had lost you

For sure absolutely

Exactly opposite

I love you more dearly.

A Dedication to My Love

I will go down with this ship...

As once masterfully said in a song
the feeling that I have at this time
the love I once had
now tolls the midnight bell and chime

I will go down with this ship
the problems I have caused
being an idiot is my demise
the truth of the matter is falsified

I love you and will always do so
not in the same capacity as before
in my head i will keep it within
how we once blissfully soared

The fact of the matter is
I grossly wrecked this ship
made mistakes a-plenty
resulting in a nose diving flip

The disagreements cause despair
I should have been more careful
been a better partner
now all I am is a fool

Unrelenting and non-resolving
stubborn like a rusted nail
hard to pry loose
all but determined to fail

I know the path I take
the pain I caused I know dearly
I will go down with this ship
no white flag I go fearlessly

I caused this problems
steered the ship into rocks
to sink like a dead weight
like a clown deserving of mocks

When I finally get my bearings
the time is terribly late
impeccable and like clockwork
I sink into the ocean

I will go down with this ship
with it I will carry our love
the rough seas have taken their toll
now departs from my heart the peaceful dove.

I have been contradictory probably because of my lack of patience to think things through. I should have taken your advice and let things settle down, then make a fully educated descision. Now I've made a decision thats not well thought out and way too soon. In my heart I know what I feel and how I want to feel. My actions obviously speak louder and have made a crucial mistake. A mistake I will deal with and a mistake that will weigh heavily on my shoulder. If you looked at that initial email, I didn't say that I was not going to go through with the dating scheme. I just said that I disliked how it came to be. I was willing to go forward with it. I just make bad split second decisions when you asked me. The sound of your voice was quivering and quite sad. I should have said yes, but the pain that I had caused previously amounted made me say no, to be come friends instead of following through with the plan. Hindsight is always clear. Clearly I made the bad choice and now I will have to pay for it. However, I cannot and will not allow myself to date another. How can I move on? Simple, I will not move on. I am stagnant in this area of my life going down with the ship of love. The only thing I know about myself is the love that we once had. To capture that magic will be for all purposes, is quite essentially impossible. My attempt to fix things is probably my downfall and destruction, in other words flip-flopping, slow and stubborn. I will never be able to return from that misery. The damage is my fault, the consequences I reap. I wish you luck in all your endeavors. There will always be a part of me of hope that things can change. I don't know if I can ever be let through the doorway of your heart again. Even if this never happens, this is the token of my life, the hope that will drive my life forward. Thank you for being you, the essence of you is what I will keep deep down.

Confessions of a Broken Heart

I have a broken heart in need of repair. The person who I thought could repair has essentially decided to move on. How else can you explain the reasoning of an open dating type of relationship even though I would have an advantage. If I had an advantage, there would be no open dating and I would be exclusively yours. However, the interpretation was best described by you: "I guess I don't love you anymore." I guess you don't love me anymore. I guess a decision has been made. I will always cherish the times we had together. It does not mean henceforth that I am happy nor feel that I can move on. I have always loved you. True, that we may have problems and yes, these problems we have whether you believe them to be true or not happen to other relationships. Yes, I have my faults and even my ill-conceived times where I initiated breakups. If you look at them though, you will see that I did it so that you wouldn't have to deal with the pain that I present. I guess it comes full circle and you will have less pain. I guess in the end, it will work out for you. For me on the other hand, I leave this situation feeling empty, battered, bruised and broken-hearted. You tell me that I should date to know how I feel about certain things and maybe I will love you better. Sometimes, I just need to figure them out on my own and I have been doing so. At this point, I know that certain issues can be resolved and we can move forward from them. I just feel that we can work it out exclusively. However, I understand your concerns about the "ups and downs" and therefore, you are dating other guys. It is duly noted that I would have the upper hand as mentioned earlier, but what does that mean if you sincerely love me. A person who truly loves another would give that person all the breaks and passes to fix it. I may have been inexperienced in our relationship, but I have learned a lot of things as our relationship grew. My belief is I shouldn't have to prove my love to you in the conditions you have set forth. As the saying goes, love knows no boundaries. All I have done for you all these years should count for some merit; I did it for love. Please forgive me for not communicating better, but my actions always spoke of my love for you. If I should offer any advice for your new relationships, it is that a relationship will have its good times and its turbulent times (which could last more then one year or two; trust me, I've seen it in all kinds of relationships, especially my parents); you should always be patient and understanding. I tried to be patient and I know you have too. My way of thinking is that we could work things out and everything could be better. However, you have made the decision to move on and my answer to that is kudos. Maybe I am not the right person for you, but I will not date anyone. My personal belief is that I am learning to be better. I believe that I am the best for you and you, the same for me. That's why I'm not dating. Think about it. If I love you, would I even consider dating someone else to know that I love you. You may think that I am not on solid ground. However, if you look at my actions in recent times and as well as in the past, I believe I am on sound foundation. You have come to the conclusion that sometimes you love me and sometimes I frustrate you, while other times you should date. It is understandable to be in such a predicament. It is specifically a trust issue. You inherently don't trust me, otherwise you'd attempt to solve our problems in a different manner. For me, I believe that you will find qualities other people may have that are similar to mine, but you will never find another person like me. I'm hoping you will see that and will return to me. I will continue to better myself, but that does not include dating other people. Unless you found someone better or I find that I truly don't love you, I cannot permit myself to move on. I love you. We just have different view and philosophy about relationships. All that I may be saying can be false because you truly are more experienced then me. There is something in me that indicates that I know the path I take is the right way to go. I am not bitter or spiteful because if that were the case, why would I want you back and why would I want to even love you. The door of opportunity is open for the perceivable future, but it doesn't mean you will walk through it. Maybe you will find another person much better and if so, I commend you on that. As a famous movie line once said, "you complete me." We each have our problems and issues; all relationships do. This is because there are two people involved, with different ideas and views, no matter how similar some things may be. There are things that can be worked on, there are things that can be compromised and there are things that we are just going to have to accept. There is no smooth sailing relationship, but why do relationships last? Both sides are willing to come to the table to hammer out the differences for the betterment of the one love. These are my ramblings, thoughts of a broken heart written sincerely and dearly as I wait for the one I love, if there is any love for me in you.

Home Sweet Home

"Home sweet home
is where the heart is"
is quite a simple phrase
but deeper in meaning it has

A sweet home
is nonetheless, ever so true
a happy establishment
with love and joy so full

This sweet home
beckons and calls at will
when we empty, far apartto return for our fill

Home sweet home
is not necessarily
a place physical in nature
it can be found quite freely

Our sweet home
it is from within found
when our hearts are happy
and our love unbound

_____________________

We once had that sweet home
such a fervent and arduous love
it used to be so peaceful
flying gracefully like a dove

Now that home is empty,
like a palace, broken-down
cold and damp
downtrodden with a sad frown

Within this home
lies our once warm hearts
broken and shattered
thousands of pieces fallen apart

This dark home of ours
used to burn ferocious
now is only left
to pick up the pieces

We may have left our home
for new sort of starts
with whatever pieces
is left that can be found of our hearts

But I don't want a new home
the old one was just fine
true it needs to be fixed
this house can again be sublime

That once sweet home
still stands fortunately upright
though the inhabitants have gone
friendship's foundation has kept it full of might

Alas I will stand by this shabby home
hope can be seen from the den
Some sincere hard work
a small candlelight lingers within

I stand by this home
I will wait ever so patient
for your return
to a home ever so magnificent

My heart beckons you home
to find your way back
to a home sweet home
where our hearts should be.

What is love?

What is love?
Full of wonder and awe
Coupled with
Anger and frustration
Can't have one
With out the other
The painful moments
Pepper and seasoning
The joyful ones
Patience and forgiveness
Go hand in hand
With the romance
Otherwise,
Love would be boring
All those good times
Would be meaningless, useless
It is within those desperate times
That make love so tender, so special
I have been through it
I cherish it all
Whether it be bad or good
The package is better
As the sum of all parts
Though I may have failed now
It is with all my heart
That I was able to experience it
Truly, madly, deeply
I go forth now
Truly understanding
It is better to have love lost
Than never to have loved at all
Though this part of my life's journey
Most likely ends here
I go forth to better the lives of others
I've had my time and realize
I'm not as good as a lover
As another can be
But I can better love someone
By being a better friend.

Love is a complex entity. I'm a simpleton, not good for deeper thought and intricacy. I'm saddened by the fact that I cannot do better, but maybe this is God's plan for me. I accept the path if truly indeed this is. God's work for a better world starts here and now. I must be the best I can be to be able to give back to the world what I have received. Maybe this is the love that I am able to grasp and perceive. I will now proceed.

A Love So Tender

A love so tender

A love so bright

So sweet and generous

Open and forthright

Mine eyes do see

My heart does know

The person right beside me

Radiates a warm flow

You sweetly sound

The cupid’s trumpet

It beats of excitement

A joyful tune infinite

When you are far

My heart yearns, swoons

Waiting in hopeful impatience

To be with you again, soon

I never thought

The very first time

That we would be together

Ever so fine

The cupid’s arrow

Took us by surprise

It connected us two

And it made us fly

You and me

We fly together

In sincere love

Unique like none other

I hope that we

Us two lovers

Will always be

A love so tender.

Dearest Love

Dearest love
I write to you
with sincere earnest
professing my love to you

When I am with you
my heart flutters
fast and then faster
makes my mind stutter

Without you
my soul feels empty
like the barren desert
wishing you near me

You make my life
move in wondrous ways
never before imagined
unceasing to amaze

The colors you provide
are like the ones on a rainbow
opening new doors and windows
a rush of life's tantalizing flow

My life is amazing
not because of who I am
but of who you are
unique, beautiful and a gem

One who is definitely
sparkling, an eye-catcher
a diamond in the rough
remarkable, yet tender

You are
my soulmate
dearest love
in your hands is my fate

You would think
that you, my love
would be treated with care
peacefully like a dove

I know that I fail
on occasions countless
to treat you right
yet you love me nonetheless

Patient and endearing
you allow me to change
yet slowly and stubborn
I cause quite a bit of pain

I fail to communicate
I am a hypocrite
I proclaim to talk
but silence into a fit

I love you dear
but none are my actions
that is why
I am writing to undo inaction

You are my star
the one above, shining
illuminating the brightest
making me happy with your twinkling

Embedded in you
is that love that is deep need
the heart I erroneously forgot
a love I must keep from dying asunder

You are
my soulmate
dearest love
in your hands is my fate

I will treat you better
treat you right
your love is worth it
your love is my fight

Love is...

Love is..
an enchanment
that is quite amazing
immense in puzzlement
but vastly dearing

Love is..
a miracle
that is surprising
joy at its pinnacle
keeps the heart thumping

Love is..
full of butterflies
tingles all over
nobody denies
knees shake without cover

Love is..
my honey in my arms
one that lifts my spirit
soul of warth and charms
full of wonderful merit

Love is..
her and me
inseparable together
wishful to be
Us forever

A poem dedicated to my honey on Valentine's Day!

As is in love, the same as well in life

As it is in love, it is also for life. These two elements are interrelated and interconnected. When one is missing love, life seems bland, boring and dull. Life is more lifeless then living. However, happen-chance you meet a special person to fall in love in, life at that point is exhilarating, exasperating, and exceptional. You wonder how you might have lived life before this crucial moment in time. Ah, but you see you have. Parents, with their loving care have given you a great life. This is why we reminisce on times when we children and wonder how we can go back to those times, retrieve the awe that we had back then, the fun had, and the friends we made. Our parents with their tender loving care made life exquisite, like the sun's first rays splicing though the cold dark blanket of night at dawn. Love made those times and those memories, a life worth living. Love makes living special. What happens when we have loved and then unexpectedly lost it? It is like losing your very own life, a good one at that. Losing that love made life miserable, irritable and sad. When we are in love, life moves speedily. The heart, an icon of love so to speak, during those splendid times beats quite quickly as well, ticking the very clock of our time. What I guess I am trying to convey in this message here is that life at its very center, the core, originates from love. We should live life according to a heart that entertains love. By doing so, we get to witness a vast many great awe-inspiring things in our life. It will make life sweeter, soulful, and most importantly alive.