When I Was Young...

When I was young

I wanted to be in the city

Crowded places

Lots of faces

Dreamt of skyscrapers

And of busy streets

Cramped rooms

Days go vroom

It appeared to be full of life

It appeared to be dynamic

Loud music sounds

Opportunities abound

But as I grow older

City lights lost their charm

Life is stressed

Time compressed

I dream of the big sky

And plenty of country

Clear air

Less crowed affair

I want a starry night

Dynamic sounds of wildlife

Barren land

Opportunities grand.

Lost in a discordant flow

Where have you been

Where have you gone

The tossing and turning

No time to dwell upon

Facts withered away 

Replaced with truthiness

The cult of personality

Has added to this mess

Fright night becomes day

Horrors abhor the peace

The fury of a surge

Comes deathly like a beast

Which way to go

Here, there, I don't know

Hunkered in the bunker

Focused on nowhere to go

Meanwhile the pain builds

Yells and shouts of ignorance

Risen like an uneven tide

The decay of common sense

Open up they say

Open up regardless

The danger zone condones

Life regarded less

Even worse yet now

Under the cover of livelihoods

Expertise is disavowed

Experience viewed a falsehood

Individuality reigns supreme

At the expense of community

Self interests divides the house

Perilous is the collaborative unity

Where have you been

Where should you go

Turning and tossing

Lost in a discordant flow.

Quickly how dreams change

Turbulent waters mar the seashore
The skies riddled with clouds of grey
A passageway open no more
Anchored we stay stuck to the bay

The discord is palpable in the air
Winds bellow a salty sorrowful taste
Troublesome is the sea of despair
Rains pounding in so much haste

Holding on for the last possible gasp
Disappointment litters the landscape
True north seems far out of grasp
A realization this time there is no escape

Then suddenly the skies turn bright blue
A light breeze soothes the well-worn face
The sun shines radiantly through
Pillows offer much comfort and grace.

Night is calling to me

Night is calling to me

Whispers blow in the wind

Weak and weary is my body

Yet the sound is relentless, piercing

It pursues the innermost thoughts

And pervades my inner sanctum

What words are these?

A message knifes through the fog

Like a surgical strike 

Pinpoint to the nth degree

Quiet the dark may be

But the mind is set ablaze 

Unclear am I to its meaning

Fearful of where it might lead

The unknown strikes a dissonance

Tangled and tossed in darkness

Confused at the unease

Unprepared for the Revelation

My physicality wants it to turn off

The mind can't help but listen

And the soul is its catalyst

Forces beyond my comprehension

Controlling the mode of thought

Persuading me closer to the call

Just when I finally thought

I got the harmony synthesized

The melody skips a disdainful beat 

Dark night switches the tune

The sun shutters the shadows

And I am awake to a different rhythm.

Searching, Yearning

I'm searching, yearning

Looking for inspiration

In the complacent dark

For that spark of vision

Its all grey and foggy

Not even the faintest light

Struggling and sluggish

A whimper not even might

I'm weak and worn

Needing rejuvenation

Just shooting blanks

Where's the innovation?

Avenues and Alleyways

Avenues and alleyways

Decisions clutter the map

A boulevard of broken dreams

In constant, continual loops and laps

The race for the cure

Has no real ending in sight

Tortured souls grimace sorrowfully

Dreaming of a peaceful light

The weight bears down immense

Like a lead foot on a straightaway

You focus desperately, longingly

For the off-ramp to run away

This one-way road trip

Haunts like a desolate island

Never to be discovered nor found

Perpetually a pain to be mired in

Avenues and alleyways

They all lead to one distinct conclusion

Need to escape from restless reality

Into a realm of whimsical illusion.

These Phantoms Besiege Me

These phantoms besiege me

Chasing my every move and position

Under constant continual surveillance

Like closed circuit television

I try to flee

But even before I inch lurching forward

The walls encompass me into darkness

Shackled stuck in a grind

In a flow oh so very burdensome

With all my might I do try

Energy emphasized for the jail break

Alas these bars don't budge at all

I feel trapped

Ever more so and then some

Is this a figment of my imagination

Or is this situation obtrusively real

It's too hazy with the visibility so low

The ghosts of yesteryear

Haunt my worrisome encumbered mind

This mirror needs to be shattered

I must transform

Oh I think I hear their chatter

The footsteps quicken their pace

Surreal or illusion it doesn't matter

 This dark place will not be where I reside

Here in the desert of ill-reputed despair.

The Tough Life I Seek

Its the tough life I seek
The pain, torture, and agony
Where fortune seems bleak
And the sorrow is deeper in me

Why should I do this?
Engage in the terrible straits
The narrow road of crisis
Determined by the Fates

Dredging through the mud
Emboldens my resolve
And boils my cry for blood
Barriers beware of ensuing dissolve

In this dark, harrowing time
My true self discovery occurs
Ripped away from what is sublime
This concoction begins to slowly stir

Fermented in the shaded shadows
A phoenix starts to emerge
The fiery flow beckons and bellows
My power soon converges

What is this you see?
It is the reversal of direction
Lifted up from changing seas
Cleansed of the failure distortion

You see the tough life I seek
Is only but for an mild instant
The lesson learned in meek
Forever rises in changes fervent

The new self that rises
Points a new direction of North
The strength of character surprises
Forward and further comes forth

The time away in somber silence
Stews the mind courageously anew
It grows in strict, incorrigible confidence
Becoming a light, airy, and vibrant hue

The change is nearly complete
My story makes a transition
A new challenge is here to meet
I seek to amplify with distinction

Its the tough life I seek
The pain, torture, and agony
Where misfortune is bleak
And the joy is deeper in me.

You Are My Everything, My All

Through the thick and thin

In the rough, tumbling thicket

Mighty seas have brought their very best

But nothing could break this bond

Standing tall on the mighty rock

Jutting out boastfully against unruly waves

Piercing the fog even on the darkest night

Yet gentle and calm in your embrace

Enveloping my soul with such sweetness

I surrender my all to thee assuredly

You provide the shine that sparks my life

The smile that nestles my weary spirit

Igniting the indescribable feeling

Surely an awesome joy and happiness

Though this day is a reminder for us

It should not be special for today only

Everyday is significant, important
With the simple touch of your caress

You flavor my life with the utmost beauty

Catalyzing the strength of our perpetual bond

Advancing, progressing us forward forever

Oh I am blessed, so very blessed

That I laid those first links of love

Years ago at an event of great responsibility

A seed planted in great friendship and comedy

Those first heart tugs and strings
Kindling the flame ever so tenderly

Becoming burnished in a blaze of enchantment

You empower me into who I am today

Like the North Star on a cold, dark night

Evoking the best in all that I do always

Because it comes from your joyful spirit

Dear friend and my sweet, precious love

You are everything, my all.

--Dedicated to my wife on February 14, 2014

What counts is the positive sum

You can't ever go back to before

Time changes too rapidly

Before you know, it soon approaches

Tomorrow is here now quickly

You're glad the the worse is gone

But at the same time previously

Gone also was the sense of bliss

Oh how time flies so mischievously

Yearning for joy in the ever present
Disparaging pain somehow seeps through
Present pleasure vanishes abruptly
Replaced with despair tinged in a dark hue

Indeed its a roller coaster journey

What dreams may not come

Journey forward nevertheless

What counts is the positive sum.

His eyes gaze out to the crowd.

Emotions ravage the landscape

Who could have known of this

It was predicted ages ago

Planned and rethought sincerely

Over and over again

The moment breaks loose

Chaos and its devious minions

Turn loose the shift in scenery

Effortlessly and with a thrust

The fire consumes the environs

In joyful cautious tones

Through the fire and definite fury

Silence seeps in through the cracks

The dark turns into bight lights

All pain clears the anxious room

The waiting period simply vanishes

Instantly back into its darkened corners

Like cracking a well-worn whip

A thunderous cry reverberates

Clapping vigor through the clouds

I could not believe mine own eyes

All glory be on High

Envisioned in numerous dreams

My world changes forever

Comfort soothes the heart and soul

Peace envelopes the crowded room

My calm demeanor returns

This day has been a courageous trial

Stormy seas now cease and desist

His eyes gaze out to the crowd.

The Dreams We Dream

The dreams we dream

Sometimes spark a drive

Such as in a light column beam

Egging us on to take a dive

Liftoff the countdown ends

We arrive at a new doorstep

A tree branch limb extends

Hope spurs from what we've kept

Exploring the new waterway

All caution to the waves

The wind calls us to play

To spelunking in the caves

The cost of opportunity

Is cast away by the wayside

All items are full of possibility

No rules need to abide

Delving deeper into the pools

A phantasmagorical world emerges

Monsters, angels, and even fools

An ethereal picture converges

A far reaching sound pings

Closer to the tower I climb

The audible sound now sings

An awe heavenly sublime

A message is scrawled

Upon a weather-worn scroll

The words etched and crawled

Beckoning my innermost soul

At this most basic elemental altar

Set aside in the darkest hour

A message is meant to halt the falter

Not to be stagnant and cower

It is time indeed

A thunderous clap bellows

The lighting strikes a feed

Zapping the lackluster fellow

Reinvigorated away from the darkness

Forthright in the beauty of this design

Breaking through incorrigible starkness

Drinking of the celebratory wine

The dreams we dream

Sets a positive emotion

The righteous path that we deem

Congruous for zealous devotion.

Plus One

Plus One

With mathematical certainty

That is the logic between

The proof of You and Me

You have delighted my life

Through a neurochemical concoction

Of "madly truly deeply"

The passionate equation

Adding up the years

The good and the bad

A definite witch's brew

None other could be had

In my wildest dreams

Where logic holds no sway

Our summer ties held true

Regardless of the winter gray

The spring colors come full bloom

In this fantasmagorical world

No division could be computed

Nor can it be unfurled

But in an absolute fact

The summation of us

Now leads in a new direction

Of an additional plus

The setting may change

But our architechture is sound

I will always be yours

Firm on fertile ground

Where the water springs

And the love always flows

I'm blessed by your grace

Set sail I will never go

As long as you allow me 

To be your plus one

Evermore you are

My plus one.

-Dedicated to my wife on Valentine's Day, 2013

Can You Be a Champion?

I am driven
Motivated to be the best
A champion
Fighting to the last
Hard-charging
Like a beast
I shall not be the least

Nothing shall stop me
My mind knows the plans
The heart drives the train
Blasting through roadblocks
Watch out
I might just catch you
In a sudden surprise.

Today is so yesterday...

Today is so yesterday
Tomorrow is fast approaching
No time to contemplate
The speed is scorching

Opening mine eyes
Ready to doze off
The cliff of fiscal responsibility
Makes one ready to jump off

Celebrations a-plenty
The losses are discouraging
The joys and the sorrows
Keep me a-whirling

The 31st is here
But just for a fleeting moment
The countdown begins
The 1st is speedily fervent

As the curtains close
And a door opens anew
Hope and anxiety arrive
I bid the past pains adieu

Time to make things happen
Plans are already set in motion
No recourse from the old
Full steam ahead is the notion

All that I ask
In this new year
Is to go a bit slower
Set in a steadier gear

Though somehow deep
Beneath my physical self
The soul knows better
What is to become of oneself

Today is so yesterday
Tomorrow is fast approaching
No time to contemplate
The speed is scorching.

Stuck in a stall...

The days grow weary

Or the saying goes

I have a search query

For deep inner flows

Where have you gone

In desperate straits

I am less fond

Questioning the fates

Is this to be

The way of life

It seems to flee

An incomprehensible strife

Encompassing the darkness

In flail and in flight

A candle spark-less

Going out of sight

The water is dry

I am grounded

In disbelief I deny

That I am grounded

But nevertheless alas

The day becomes night

Knowing to the last

Truth delivers fright

No flows to be seen

Designed in flaw

Loss of my esteem

Stuck in a stall...

The Spark That Burns

The spark that burns

Eats me alive

I am consumed

To fight and strive

The time is now

Carpe diem

Seize the moment

Thoughts on a whim

The struggles within

In a barren wasteland

Are but nothing

Against my stand

The anger bursts

A ferocious growl

I am the predator

On the prowl

Inactivity

Can be no more

Rising up

Breaking  through the door

The opportunity is here

Locked and targeted

Aiming high

The mind accelerated

The spark that burns

Empowers me whole

I shoot for the stars

My lofty goal.

I know that I haven't been blogging, but the passion that burns now has returned and I hope to carry this flame as far as it can go. I hope you will join me and thank you for your support.

The Pressure's High!

The pressure's high
Hot smoking steam
Clamored in confusion
I just want to scream

Whether I turn left
Or even in the right way
My missteps
Hinder the day

The walls cave in
Thinking on the whim
Impatience clutters
A level of dire grim

A need for change
Crying out in the desert
Can I be heard
Ineptitude to assert

I need to break loose
Widen the field
Think more clearly
For a foundation's build

The pressure's high
Enclosed in the burrows
My sorrows entrenches
Fallen into a furrow.

Its the summer

Its the summer
What a bummer

The gray skies
Make me despise

This is southern Cali
Not some New York alley

Please emerge from thy slumber
The sun of this hidden summer

Waiting
Debating

Concerned for the future
Taxiing to the departure

Clear skies I need
For sunshine to feed

Its the summer
What a bummer.

Success is Reaching Your Personal Best

In a tribute to one of the most influential teachers in my life, John Wooden, who passed away yesterday. I have been blessed to first learn about this great man early in my life in college with a quote that I shall never forget:

"Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are."