These Phantoms Besiege Me

These phantoms besiege me

Chasing my every move and position

Under constant continual surveillance

Like closed circuit television

I try to flee

But even before I inch lurching forward

The walls encompass me into darkness

Shackled stuck in a grind

In a flow oh so very burdensome

With all my might I do try

Energy emphasized for the jail break

Alas these bars don't budge at all

I feel trapped

Ever more so and then some

Is this a figment of my imagination

Or is this situation obtrusively real

It's too hazy with the visibility so low

The ghosts of yesteryear

Haunt my worrisome encumbered mind

This mirror needs to be shattered

I must transform

Oh I think I hear their chatter

The footsteps quicken their pace

Surreal or illusion it doesn't matter

 This dark place will not be where I reside

Here in the desert of ill-reputed despair.

Who knew it was to be...

Who knew it was to be

The time was at a definite hand

A reckoning massive in display

Revealing an ordeal un-grand

The issues do remain

Troublesome disparity it'll be

A house laid waste ill-fame

In gruesome, macabre territory

Mud-slings and the dirt

Abhor the mirror-face

Prodding a need to cleanse

For mercy, penance and grace

The time is ever-present now

As it was in the persistent past 

To brush the dirt off the shoulders

And raise a tall, devout mast

Reinvention beckons a will

Set sail to the North my friend

To let it it loose unabridged again

Maybe its intervention, a God-send

The sludge grudge may bellow

Fastening like murky quicksand

But it hasn't even a chance

To capture this feature brand

Always forward and more

Heartfelt gusto unforsaken

Onward ho to the promised land

A change in the making

And here we go my friend

Are you ready for the journey

Who knew it was to be

Revealing an unknown entity.

The Pressure's High!

The pressure's high
Hot smoking steam
Clamored in confusion
I just want to scream

Whether I turn left
Or even in the right way
My missteps
Hinder the day

The walls cave in
Thinking on the whim
Impatience clutters
A level of dire grim

A need for change
Crying out in the desert
Can I be heard
Ineptitude to assert

I need to break loose
Widen the field
Think more clearly
For a foundation's build

The pressure's high
Enclosed in the burrows
My sorrows entrenches
Fallen into a furrow.

Too Much Fast

The motor starts
Kaboom
Pedal to the metal
The engine vroom

From silent slumber
Ring Ding Ding
Jump start the day
The door opens fling

The light of morning
Gathers steam
Slow at first
It now brightly beams

Tick tock
The clock stalks
The dial ever so slightly
Then faster it balks

Speeds goes
Faster and faster
On a good pace
Novice to master

Exponents explode
Now its too quick
I'm losing the hold
The grip is slick

The engine goes
Revolutions in red
Brakes become listless
This I'm going to dread

Out of my control
Hanging loose
In stormy winds
Not what I choose

Nevertheless
The mess devours
Littered in frustration
The pain towers

No where good
This lack of constraint
Ready myself
About to faint

Boom
Splash
Bang
Crash

Timber
Fall from grace
Devastation
All over the place

Too much fast
The engine busts
The wall it smashes
Instantaneously combusts

Consequences
Time to take the flak
The heat it scours
Heavy on my back.

Of These Coming Storms

Now the tides
Begin to rise
All around
Signaling the demise

What comes
Must go by
Despicable and sorrow
To the wayside

The status quo
Cannot go
Anymore at length
It is the foe

Disaster speaks
At whisper's length
Fail the Almighty
Lose more than a tenth

The thunderous cloud
Calls forth a rapture
A cleansing of sorts
Of false and ill-reputed stature

Down shall fall
An institution's merit
No glory nor honor
But dissonance inherit

Thy fate is at hand
The people speak
Protests and chants
Of the future bleak

God raises his voice
Louder and clearer
The tide crashes in
Washing the error

Are you in the steady
A foundation of rock
Or is it in quicksand
Fleeing the flock

Change your ways
The signal alarms
You have been warned
Of these coming storms

A letter this time
Will not suffice
Rectify these claims
Own up to the vice.

The Infallible Pope

It is time now to review this principle (as good as any), the thought that the pope is infallible. I'm not a theologian or an authority of the Catholic Church, but rather follower of the faith. As you may know, the Church is going through a rough period right now with the scandal that affects the priests and those in power within the Church, and how they have been maliciously robbing the youth (to say it in a understated manner). I predict that the Church will get through this as they always have throughout history, but changes will and should be in store.

One of those changes I think need revision is the principle of infallibility of the pope. It has been obvious in my own opinion that popes have in the past strayed from the path of holiness, yet their authority and power is considered infallible as it is dictated by the teachings of the Church. We as citizens and servants of God must obey the pope for it is his duty given by God to shepherd us. We are led to believe that we are human and that is why we make mistakes to which I agree wholeheartedly. We need the guidance of a holy person to shepherd us toward the light.

I'm not saying the pope cannot guide us to the path toward heaven however. Rather, I would follow a holy pope if he was truthful, enlightened and saw God in everything he did (a core principle of the Catholic faith). Theoretically, that person would act in a righteous manner when given the opportunity to promote justice. It now seems that Pope Benedict in the past may have knowingly or inadvertently caused more harm in his leadership as Bishop and Cardinal Ratzinger, who in high positions of the Church acted in ways perceived as corrupt.

Even if he inadvertently caused harm to others, you would think that as Pope Benedict, he would be remorseful of those decisions. I would still follow him if he were humble and owned up to those mistakes. However, the principle of infallibility will not allow him to do so. In fact, he writes a scathing but justified letter to the Irish congregation about the abuses of the Church in Ireland, without mentioning the problems affecting the German Church which is odd considering his German origin and the abuses there. I assume that would put the pope too close to breaking the infallibility principle.

There are cries out there now in the world for the resignation of the pope. Still others are taking matters to their own hands by with lawsuits (which probably will fail due to the mere fact that heads of state are immune to prosecution). Others have given up and left the faith. What am I to do? Oddly has it may seem, I am still the keeper of the faith. I know we will ride out this storm, but the aftermath of this pain will bring new revisions to Church policy just like Luther and the Reformation did for the Church.

This time, I believe one of those revisions or issues should be the infallibility of the pope. I hope that Pope Benedict will be courageous enough to proclaim that he, like me, is not infallible and that we are all human. According to Catholic teaching, his decrees are like new policies and rules within the Church. The only difference is that he has the calling of God to which I hold in high regard. He can still lead, but current issues obviously affect his leadership. What is a shepherd to do when he abuses his sheep, leaving them out for the wolves to prey?

The Church will be saved. I have no doubt about it as it is an institution run by God, but those within this institution shall have their day of justice if abuses are not corrected. I pray that these changes come soon and swiftly.

____________________________________

I've been thinking about this issue for over several years now and I wanted to just bring them out into public view. I am a follower of the faith, but I believe the current situation in Church is dire and despicable. If these abuses continue to arise, a change shall surely happen and they should already be happening. The only issue then is, will the change be for the good or will this drastically affect the Church in a negative light? To that, I have no clear answer or opinion. It is at a breaking point and I wonder where the cards will fall.

May God help us all.

Disclaimer: This is an opinion of mine and has no bearing or authority on the teachings of the Church (even though I would like it to be taken into consideration). I have not the power to dictate policy or teachings within the Catholic Church.

One day...

...we will conquer our fears, downfalls and struggles. Until then, we shall strive 110% to reach that goal. Though the night brings pain and wickedness, the sun shall undoubtedly rise and we shall rise with it.

Lost in Idiosyncrasy

The murky waters
A litany of pain
Clouds the situation
Confuses my aim

What am I to do
Forced into stupidity
Where have I been
Lost in idiosyncrasy

The fog rolls in
My path it covers
Trivial matters
Darken true colors

I have lost my way
A mind unclear
The wrath devours
I shutter in fear

On a moonless night
Even stars decline
The soul shrieks
No I am not fine

Sorrows litter the path
A train wreak indeed
Faced with hypocrisy
My heart bleeds

A reversal of fortune
Code red alert
The alarm rings true
Trouble I must avert

My heart knows thine
The actions were unkind
Stubborn I was for sure
Loosening the favored bind

I must initiate
Strengthen the hull
Seek purposeful action
Rid of this null

I come to reclaim
A passionate love
One that I once had
That peaceful dove

Then in one fell swoop
Crashing thunder
The ship runs aground
I am thrown under

Is it too late
Not knowing the way
The fate I face
Is here today

Waves crash in
Burying me further
Weight of my sins
Multiplies the blunder

In my pride
I sprung a leak
The truth was blindsided
And I became weak

Anger slights my path
In broken spirits lost
What am I to do
Count the cost?
_____________________

Sometimes, all we need is time alone to seek the truth. The pain that lives within shows itself in the light. No where to hide and no where to run. It speaks loud and clear. A change of course leaving despair and inaction behind. I seek to travel to new heights of passion and truth. My mind knows the truth and my heart leads the way.

Blinded by the Light...

Blinded by the light
Stuck in the darkness
Seemingly lost of sight
I must confess

The truth is horrible
Bloody, ruthless and unkind
Though it is incorrigible
It puts me in a bind

I need to see
The blight denies
What I should be
The belief subsides

Wandering nowhere
My soul is dark
Destitute and despair
A contrast so stark

Outwardly sunny
Purportedly fruitful
Jokingly funny
But inwardly awful

In a state of disgrace
No where to run or hide
Must I the truth face
Who shall I toward confide

Anger envelops a bubble
How could I be so stupid
Get into all this trouble
Shoddy and un-intrepid

I must own up
To the truth that is
Must speak up
Confidently of my business

Blinded by the light
Stuck in the darkness
Seemingly lost of sight
I must confess.

Inspired by a sibling in need of help that is stuck in denial. I pray for her deliverance to the light, to see the truth of what is so help can be given. May God Bless her!
__________________________________________

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Death in the Desert

This is the end of days
The end of time
Dark clouds brew
I hear the bells chime

On this barren desert
With the thunderous clamor
Of lightning strikes
A mighty hammer

Laying inside the car
Resting with my foot out
This is it
Shrunken is my clout

All these years
Of dirty deeds
And broken trusts
Evil now feeds

Here I am alone
Myself and I
Faster my hearts beats
Soon I cannot deny

The pain I caused
Dirty under deals
Have led me here
Death is at my heels

I heave and breath
Caustically heavy
A shot through the chest
Blasted my steady

Though I did deserve
Such injurious treason
The hurt is unbearable
Pain scrambles reason

Why me I say
Then the rain drips
I struggle to see
My soul drops

What dreams may I see
On the other side
Terrified I realize
There is no other side.

Inspired by a character in Chhaya's Untitled Story

Quip of the Day

"The truth shall set you free"

Without a doubt, the truth will always find a way to present itself to others. It is in our best interests to express what is morally correct at first knowledge. Otherwise, you shall face the consequences later on when you are discovered in a lie, a farce and cheat. It is better to discuss the truth on your terms rather then another's when they can mold much greater adversity to your respectability and character. Pure and simple, it is much better to tell the truth right off the back.

Dedicated to and inspired by illegal users of performance-enhancing drugs.

To make a mistake

It is human
To make a mistake
Falsely perceive
And wrongly partake

Now the question
Of utmost importance
Will you proceed humbly
Or recede in arrogance

The answer is simple
Yet hard to attempt
To change is the need
The mind is in contempt

To move surely
In the "right"
The pangs and angst
Growing pains fight

But if you stay stubborn
Stuck on a wall
Rock hardened heart
Inclined you are to fall

To work toward change
Seems mission impossible
Take it step by step
You will find it plausible

To make a mistake
Is to be human
But how you resolve it
Will improve your acumen


I am certainly human and prone to mistakes. Luckily, I am human because I have the ability to change and progress forward to enlightenment. Every day is a struggle, but if you have hope and desire to walk to the light, it may just be well worth it in the end. Be strong, confident as well as humble. What you seek may just be closer than first thought. Its not how we fall because we are destined to fall, but rather what we do after falling. That is what counts the most.