Lost in a discordant flow

Where have you been

Where have you gone

The tossing and turning

No time to dwell upon

Facts withered away 

Replaced with truthiness

The cult of personality

Has added to this mess

Fright night becomes day

Horrors abhor the peace

The fury of a surge

Comes deathly like a beast

Which way to go

Here, there, I don't know

Hunkered in the bunker

Focused on nowhere to go

Meanwhile the pain builds

Yells and shouts of ignorance

Risen like an uneven tide

The decay of common sense

Open up they say

Open up regardless

The danger zone condones

Life regarded less

Even worse yet now

Under the cover of livelihoods

Expertise is disavowed

Experience viewed a falsehood

Individuality reigns supreme

At the expense of community

Self interests divides the house

Perilous is the collaborative unity

Where have you been

Where should you go

Turning and tossing

Lost in a discordant flow.

Searching, Yearning

I'm searching, yearning

Looking for inspiration

In the complacent dark

For that spark of vision

Its all grey and foggy

Not even the faintest light

Struggling and sluggish

A whimper not even might

I'm weak and worn

Needing rejuvenation

Just shooting blanks

Where's the innovation?

Avenues and Alleyways

Avenues and alleyways

Decisions clutter the map

A boulevard of broken dreams

In constant, continual loops and laps

The race for the cure

Has no real ending in sight

Tortured souls grimace sorrowfully

Dreaming of a peaceful light

The weight bears down immense

Like a lead foot on a straightaway

You focus desperately, longingly

For the off-ramp to run away

This one-way road trip

Haunts like a desolate island

Never to be discovered nor found

Perpetually a pain to be mired in

Avenues and alleyways

They all lead to one distinct conclusion

Need to escape from restless reality

Into a realm of whimsical illusion.

These Phantoms Besiege Me

These phantoms besiege me

Chasing my every move and position

Under constant continual surveillance

Like closed circuit television

I try to flee

But even before I inch lurching forward

The walls encompass me into darkness

Shackled stuck in a grind

In a flow oh so very burdensome

With all my might I do try

Energy emphasized for the jail break

Alas these bars don't budge at all

I feel trapped

Ever more so and then some

Is this a figment of my imagination

Or is this situation obtrusively real

It's too hazy with the visibility so low

The ghosts of yesteryear

Haunt my worrisome encumbered mind

This mirror needs to be shattered

I must transform

Oh I think I hear their chatter

The footsteps quicken their pace

Surreal or illusion it doesn't matter

 This dark place will not be where I reside

Here in the desert of ill-reputed despair.

Who knew it was to be...

Who knew it was to be

The time was at a definite hand

A reckoning massive in display

Revealing an ordeal un-grand

The issues do remain

Troublesome disparity it'll be

A house laid waste ill-fame

In gruesome, macabre territory

Mud-slings and the dirt

Abhor the mirror-face

Prodding a need to cleanse

For mercy, penance and grace

The time is ever-present now

As it was in the persistent past 

To brush the dirt off the shoulders

And raise a tall, devout mast

Reinvention beckons a will

Set sail to the North my friend

To let it it loose unabridged again

Maybe its intervention, a God-send

The sludge grudge may bellow

Fastening like murky quicksand

But it hasn't even a chance

To capture this feature brand

Always forward and more

Heartfelt gusto unforsaken

Onward ho to the promised land

A change in the making

And here we go my friend

Are you ready for the journey

Who knew it was to be

Revealing an unknown entity.

Stuck in a stall...

The days grow weary

Or the saying goes

I have a search query

For deep inner flows

Where have you gone

In desperate straits

I am less fond

Questioning the fates

Is this to be

The way of life

It seems to flee

An incomprehensible strife

Encompassing the darkness

In flail and in flight

A candle spark-less

Going out of sight

The water is dry

I am grounded

In disbelief I deny

That I am grounded

But nevertheless alas

The day becomes night

Knowing to the last

Truth delivers fright

No flows to be seen

Designed in flaw

Loss of my esteem

Stuck in a stall...

Too Much Fast

The motor starts
Kaboom
Pedal to the metal
The engine vroom

From silent slumber
Ring Ding Ding
Jump start the day
The door opens fling

The light of morning
Gathers steam
Slow at first
It now brightly beams

Tick tock
The clock stalks
The dial ever so slightly
Then faster it balks

Speeds goes
Faster and faster
On a good pace
Novice to master

Exponents explode
Now its too quick
I'm losing the hold
The grip is slick

The engine goes
Revolutions in red
Brakes become listless
This I'm going to dread

Out of my control
Hanging loose
In stormy winds
Not what I choose

Nevertheless
The mess devours
Littered in frustration
The pain towers

No where good
This lack of constraint
Ready myself
About to faint

Boom
Splash
Bang
Crash

Timber
Fall from grace
Devastation
All over the place

Too much fast
The engine busts
The wall it smashes
Instantaneously combusts

Consequences
Time to take the flak
The heat it scours
Heavy on my back.

Nowhere to Fear

I thought I was in the clear
Nowhere to fear

The storm had passed
And I was going fast

Straight along the highway
Without any dismay

Humming to the radio
Riding in a stroll

Drip drop splat
Came down enact

Tensions arise
Foretells a future demise

These light drops
Make my heart flop

Then in one fell swoop
The showers make me stoop

I manage expectations
Hoping for no more elevation

As I climb the mountain
It is a full blown fountain

The pitter-patter
Becomes a big spatter

Smack dab at the summit
Realization wacks with a big hit

It is not wet anymore
But more danger evermore

Like spikes of arrows
My stomach narrows

The windshield defends
What I cannot comprehend

Is that the blizzard snow
In the middle of April

Alas it is true
My soul is blue

What am I to do
Losing my cool

This white snowy nightmare
Stirs up a frustrated flare

A decision needs quickness
In this white mistiness

Drip drop splat
Rain in a matter of fact

The tortuous white night
Opens up for a better flight

I have made it through
A summit of code blue

The awful windy white
Is now out of my sight

Bypassing the summit
That made me submit

To nature's power
That made me cower

Lucky I was
My heart full of buzz

Into the clear
Nowhere to fear.

Inspired by the events of April 11, 2010 near midnight as I was returning to Southern California from San Francisco hitting a late snowstorm at the Tejon Pass on the 5 on a stormy day throughout the state.

One day...

...we will conquer our fears, downfalls and struggles. Until then, we shall strive 110% to reach that goal. Though the night brings pain and wickedness, the sun shall undoubtedly rise and we shall rise with it.

My Fate

As the door creaks open
A monstrous figure appears
Dripping tears and sweat
Ferociously emitting fears

He growls fiercely loud
Terrifying the soul
Heat emanates from him
Blanketing the cold

The eyes seek you out
Mystifying in terror
He sees through the dark
Into the most inner

A blaze is lit
Engulfed is the room
I have no way out
Impending doom

I can see the hunger
The agony and pain within
Locked up in dormancy
Too long has it surely been

Rage fuels him
It shrouds the damp air
Encircled in flames
Affixed with a devious stare

A sudden movement
Is all it takes
One swift strike
And death seemingly makes

The ground quickly quivers
He has made his move
The thunderous quake
Like a hammered screw

I fall in grace
He devours the mold
An explosive transformation
Bends into the fold

Awakened from slumber
From the ashes pitiful
Flight takes its strong form
A phoenix in full

Morphed from the dreary
I have become him
In hunger and piercing pain
Filled to the bitter brim

I have returned
From the land of nether
Darting toward the goal
Of the dreams of better

Long it has been lost
Now I gather in powerful force
The passion and motivation
My flight takes it course

I shatter through the door
For opportunities embrace
Trailblazing through stubborn rock
Leaving a clear trace

My soul is lit with fire
The fervor resonates
I'm focused on my desires
I'll make my fate.

Waiting in Nowhere

Like a Chinese water torture
Drip and drop
My patience wears thin

The clock mocks me
Tick and tock
With its merciless second-hand

Pacing worried
Back and forth
Panicked thoughts of despair

Facing the discordant song
Twang and bang
The ears shutter in pain

Such an impasse in time
Frozen and immobile
Stuck in neutral

In no man's land
Here and there
Frowning at the lack of existence

A bubble encapsulated
Stopped and blocked
Agonizing for an option

An unanswered question
How and why
Waiting in nowhere.

--------------------------

In dedication to those who are waiting for a phone call, a reply from a loved one, in search of themselves and in need of direction as well as those waiting in traffic. A lot of our life is spent waiting and it can often frustrate us. That's the feeling I try to capture here and I hope you like it.

Lost in Idiosyncrasy

The murky waters
A litany of pain
Clouds the situation
Confuses my aim

What am I to do
Forced into stupidity
Where have I been
Lost in idiosyncrasy

The fog rolls in
My path it covers
Trivial matters
Darken true colors

I have lost my way
A mind unclear
The wrath devours
I shutter in fear

On a moonless night
Even stars decline
The soul shrieks
No I am not fine

Sorrows litter the path
A train wreak indeed
Faced with hypocrisy
My heart bleeds

A reversal of fortune
Code red alert
The alarm rings true
Trouble I must avert

My heart knows thine
The actions were unkind
Stubborn I was for sure
Loosening the favored bind

I must initiate
Strengthen the hull
Seek purposeful action
Rid of this null

I come to reclaim
A passionate love
One that I once had
That peaceful dove

Then in one fell swoop
Crashing thunder
The ship runs aground
I am thrown under

Is it too late
Not knowing the way
The fate I face
Is here today

Waves crash in
Burying me further
Weight of my sins
Multiplies the blunder

In my pride
I sprung a leak
The truth was blindsided
And I became weak

Anger slights my path
In broken spirits lost
What am I to do
Count the cost?
_____________________

Sometimes, all we need is time alone to seek the truth. The pain that lives within shows itself in the light. No where to hide and no where to run. It speaks loud and clear. A change of course leaving despair and inaction behind. I seek to travel to new heights of passion and truth. My mind knows the truth and my heart leads the way.

Lack of Thrust

A foggy haze
Blankets the sky
Motionlessly calm
Struggling to fly

The muggy heat
Reeks of listlessness
Lost for words
Drowsy eagerness

Tirelessly faint
Blurred attention
Heavy weights
Slows the ascension

Exhaustion
Bites the dust
Soulless wandering
Lack of thrust