Thursday, May 17, 2007

Pain and Torture

Deep within the craters
of my battered heart
lies a truth that hurts
more then lies can ever be.

A once blissful love
has now been turned
upside down
and every which way.

The insults to my heart
are hard to bear
once fluttering like a butterfly
now stings like a bee.

This is lower than
the bottomless pit's depths
pain and torture
falling endlessly.

Never before in my life
have I had to bear
such a pain and torture
with no end in despair.

How could this happen
why did it come to this
could I have changed it
made it better?

Never have I tried so hard
and then given up
fought the good fight
and still be in such sadness.

Usually and normally
when I try my best
and reached my limit
I'd be satisfied.

Somehow this time
things have changed
I'm not satisfied
even though a ceiling is reached.

Maybe its because
I've devoted so much time
invested so much energy
that it hurts to break apart.

However the dirty deed
now has been done
resulting in shattered hearts
of not one but two.

This will handicap me
for the rest of my life;
A love I cannot keep
A love I have destroyed.

Never again it seems
I've reached a limit
love is without a doubt
not for me, the simpleton.

Though I acknowledge this
I can't get past the fact
I cannot accept this idea
or be satisfied with the interpretation.

On other hand
I never want to hurt
another person again
everyone deserves better than me.

Each time the pain
cuts deeper
and the torture
is much stronger.

I must come to the realization
make a profound resolution
that I lack the ability
to love intricately.

I still want to try
yearn to push the limit
and make the goal.

But I know within
the resounding result will be
pain and torture
pain and torture.

Therefore I must change
stop the deceiving
that i could love
and make someone love me.

Though it would be nice
to be loved and cared for
but I guess it won't be me
too much pain and torture.

This sadness envelopes me
shrouds me under the blankets
Will I ever get out
Who knows?

This pain and torture
is too much to be
probably what i deserve
pain and torture.

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