Sunday, June 03, 2007

Rock Bottom

At first I wasn't sure
Now I am fully convinced
Of the situation I currently reside in
I have hit rock bottom
The falling aimlessly has stopped
Though I find my self deeper
Than I remember last
I have been here before
In the sorrow and sadness
That accompanies this familiar spot
Of when I was in fifth grade
Aimlessly lonely looking outside
Feeling cold and abandoned
Wondering why I felt that way
From the living room window
Hidden from the view of the family
Hours upon hours in a blank stare
This was definitely not the last time
I would be in the predicament
In eighth grade after my confrontation
With my dad on why I did so bad
Not knowing why even though I tried my best
My grades sucked like a dead-weight
Falling fast to the ocean floor
Again this was not the only time
Before my senior year in the summer
I played the worse tennis of my life
Saddened and dejected I walked home alone
On my own accord in somber sadness
Laughed at and scorned for being so dumb
By my so-called friends and teammates
Twas quite a year
I would again pay a visit to loneliness
Near the end of the senior year
I would be knifed in the back
Direct hit on my fragile heart
By the one I thought loved me
Out of the blue telling me in a letter
That she didn't love me anymore
Now I visit this place again
Where my heart is again in solitary confinement
The place called rock bottom
Of a once bottomless pit
Only I can blame myself for this situation
I will have to resolve this on my own
In this loneliness I seek comfort
I know that there is a way out
I'm sure there is a stairway to heaven
Each time I have hit rock bottom
My best work as soon followed
After fifth grade I made good to try to be optimistic
After eighth grade I had a string of excellent grades worth envy
After the worse tennis ever I ended the year most team valuable
After my senior year I found someone who loved me better
Though this relationship has ended in me hitting rock bottom
I have hope this can be better again one way or another
I find that upon reviewing my past history
There is hope and chance
I can improve myself again
Those triumphs of yesteryear
Were achieved by concerted effort to focus and achieve
I am not bringing this to laud myself
I'm merely being optimistic
In these times of despair and anguish
I don't ask for sympathy
I just need to see
That I can climb out of this dark damp destination
To be on level ground again
I can conquer what obstacles lay in my way
I just need to believe
Even though this hole has gotten wider and deeper
Like in times past I can rise again
It may take some time
It may take patience and determination
To be above ground zero
The human species
Has an amazing amount of hope
I must tap into this hope
With some support that would be nice
Why do we fall
So we can stand up again
To climb out of rock bottom
I shall do so
I have a starting point
I can fall no further
It is time to get to work
Time to leave rock bottom vacant.

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